I have been wanting to start this blog for probably about 3 months now. I have written my first entry about 30 times in my head, but until now haven't put it to keys. Tonight, as I sit watching the Miss America pageant I was wondering why haven't I started my blog yet. I am guessing its a few things, fear of putting myself out there, and knowing exactly what does go on in my head!
Ok so here it goes, I am getting over my fears and I am jumping head first into my blog. Please note - this is just a randomness of my thoughts - please feel free to comment if you wish.
A friend and I went to dinner the other night at Red Lobster. I hadn't been for a while and we had traveled out of our normal town and it was the only restaurant around. Everyone knows that they have lobsters there, sitting in the tank waiting their fate as people come in and sit and wait for a table. My friend said to me: "I cant eat a lobster now, I don't want to see my food alive before I eat it". I haven't had that thought as far as shellfish was concerned. I don't know if ts because I was born in Maryland and seafood is a part of all diets or if I just don't care. Then my friend said: "I wouldn't want to go into a Kentucky Fried Chicken and see a bunch of chickens in a cage." Okay, I see the point now, I guess seeing your dinner before you eat it isn't very appetizing.
Along the lines of food, I have been doing the Jenny Craig thing. I am on my 4th week right now. I really like the convenience of having my food ready and there and not having to buy alot of things from the grocery store that I know I am going to waste. So far I am down 7.3 pounds and feeling pretty excited that this is going to help me on my way of changing my eating habits. I am learning things about myself and my relationship with food along the way also. 2 weeks ago I really wanted some Papa Romanos pizza, and I had decided that I was going to have some. (keep in mind that while I am doing Jenny Craig - if there is something that I know I want, then I have the right to make that choice). So I called the pizza place and proceeded with my typical order - small pizza small bread stick (this use to be about a 2-3 times a week order) when the order taker told me they no longer have small and that I could get a medium I freaked out. OMG I don't want a Medium, I want a small and then I thought to myself - okay I don't need the pizza so just hang up but I couldn't, I was in a panic I didn't know what I would feel if I didn't order it and just hung up. The order taker tells me - oh we have a bambino pizza now though - its smaller then a small its like a personal. So then, as if I am not crazy enough by now, I think to myself - umm seriously that wont be enough. I proceed with the bambino order, and to my surprise it was more then enough. Okay, so what did I learn? I learn that I have a craving for certain foods when I am feeling certain emotions. Stressed = Pizza and if I cant have those foods then the emotions intensifies. Crazy I know.
Weight isnt something I really "struggle" with, as I have also been on the heavier side of things since I was little. For the most part I am okay with it, except when I look at myself and think - seriously.. I know I am pretty, I know I am smart and funny, but I also know (sorry Carson) I do not like how I look naked. Then I think, maybe this is just all normal - who does like how they look naked? I guess my goal with the Jenny thing will be to get into the habit of eating fruits, salads and veggies as well as making healthier choices. This morning as I was about to eat some of my Jenny cereal I saw that I had Sugar Free Mrs Buttersworth next to some pancake mix. I read the box - 160 calories for 4 - 4inch pancakes. Wow that's cool. So I got Fabio (I cant be live its not butter) out of the fridge and made myself breakfast. for a whooping 185 calories when I added the syrup. I was proud of myself then.
Someone has a post on the board I am for Jenny and it says "Nothing tastes as good as loosing weight feels". I am trying to ask myself that when I make the choice to eat something - Is this going to meet my nutritional needs? Do I want it? Is it going to taste better then loosing 1 pound?
Ok, well I guess that's it for my first post. I warned you it would be random and crazy.
Till next time...
