Things...

Wow, its been a while! I wish could some how blog through my thoughts. I must have thought of about 12 different blog entries in the last few weeks but by the time I am home I just done feel like "verbally vomiting". Heck a few nights the last week I just went straight to my room and did a few things on the laptop before I just crashed.

Updates:

• I ended Jenny and I am doing good on my own - I think it was just the jump I needed and now I have my own motivation. Still loosing slow but sure, and that's cool with me.
• I am still going into work at 4:30am, I don't mind so much - its not as if I have a family or warm snugly person in the bed next to me that I am leaving.
• New water heater is in and its so nice. I have turned Friday nights into bath/whine/wine night. I am trying to see if I'm a wine person so I am trying a few here and there - so far nothing has totally rocked my boat.
• Apparently I am still "clenching" my teeth. I put it in quotes because I just don't think I do - I think something else is going on - so I have my shot (YEAH) appointment Monday so I am going to talk to the Dr about it then. This of course is no thanks to Discovery Health Channel in which I watched a show where a young lady had similar symptoms and it turned out to be a sinus tumor.
• Still trying to E-Harmony thing. I have over 120 matches and about 40 that are in some sort of communication mode - sounds great huh? Nah - nothing is really promising at this point - and by promising I mean someone I want to meet and talk to more.

The last point leads me to the topic of Regrets - I try to live my life with no regrets - but it seems as thought the older I get I have a few items on my regret list. Currently up to 3 which involve; Handling situations differently, Appreciating and validating people/relationships, and being true to myself. Live and learn, so in all 3 situations I have done my best to do what I thought was the right thing now - but still will always wonder what if I guess.

On an interesting note - I realized today that on Leap Day - if it falls on a work day - then technically if your salary you worked for free!

Meme

Ok, this is all new to me since I am new blogger chick.. but lets see how I do..

The Rules:

Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

Share five random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog. Share the five top places on your “want to see or want to see again” list.

Tag a minimum of five random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.

Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment in their blog.

Person who tagged me: Karly

Five Random/Weird Facts About Me:

1. I cant stand Peas. They are simply just gross.
2. I dry myself before I get out of the shower.
3. I have a thing for anything Purple, Frog, or Clinique. (OMG I would just die if Clinique came out with a purple frog!
4. Sushi ROCKS
5. My bra and panties are always both white on work days.

Places I Want to See/Want to See Again:
China
England
Paris
Maryland (hehe)

Tagging:
Ummmm, I dont have any blog friends yet, so I will steal Karly's line..
Anyone else out there in blog land who might be up for the challenge!

Maybe...

Maybe it’s because its 2am and I am awake, or maybe its because I had a rough day today.

My day started like normal, but I had left work early to deal with what I thought was a small issue with the water heater, a little leak some where. Turns out yeah, its a leak - but the water heater is 17 years old. That’s okay, I have the home warranty so they cover the new water heater, however they do not cover the code updates which are required. Not a big deal - I guess its just one of those things you deal with now and then as a home owner.

I cant keep on top of my class right now, usually things just come to me pretty easy and the work is easy for me. I have had so much going on at work (new job with greater responsibilities = 1/31 getting a lot of tax things done.. had me stressing.. but that’s a longer story) and trying to eat right and things, I just feel like I cant get a hold of it.

Yeah, on to the eating. I was doing very well, until I reached "very stressed" and just dropped it. I had intended on picking it up Monday, but when I had to leave work early I just tossed it to the side again. I wish that it was a no brainer for me, something I didn’t have to think about all the time, something that was just a part of me.

Its just one of those times when ya feel like theres alot going on at once and how can you focuss your attention to one. To top that off, I actually have this kitty on my mind that needs a home, I keep trying to kick her out of my mind so far it hasn’t worked. I am hoping she finds a loving home soon, but will keep her in my mind.

Maybe this just a part of growing and life. Some days are harder, some days are easy. Some days are full of love and friends and some are lonely. What I have learned, no matter what it always turns out okay and I am always fine! =)

Comfy Blanket

When what I refer to as my "forever" relationship and I ended things we had alot of conversations about comfy blankets. Comparing our relationship to a comfy blank of a child, they carry it around everywhere they go, always holding it close and turning to it when needed. The child carries it until its worn and tattered and falling apart. The relationship I had became a worn tattered comfy blanket. Something neither of us wanted to really let go of, but at the same time something we both knew we couldnt carry with us any more.

Loosing your comfy blanket isnt fun, even if you know you should give it up. Tonight on the way home I kept thinking about all the changes in my life right now and how bad I wish I just had the comfy blanket for a second. I always felt like everything would be okay or atleast that I would be okay when I had the blanket.

I have grown alot in the last year, its hard at times - but I am realizing that I am my own comfy blanket now. It is nice to have someone who you can turn to when things are hard, but at the same time if you cant rely on yourself - who can you rely on?

I miss my comfy blanket. Not the relationship as BF/GF but the fact that I had to let go of someone who I cared about alot and who knew me better then anyone. I miss being able to just email and say HEY this is whats going on, or hey - hows your life going. I dont know if that will go away. I guess they say time heals all wounds, but I think my heart will always have a special place.