Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween

Last year at this time I was in Vegas, so I missed the neighborhood fun we have. This year, there was three households on the neighbors porch. The kids love it when they walk up and basically get the benefits of walking to three houses, all by just walking to one porch. I love it because I get to talk with the neighbors.

I am not much for giving kids candy, but I do like traditions and so I participate. It is so much fun to see the kids dressed up and all excited.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Things that CRACK ME UP Thursdays

This says it all.. Saw this coming out of Walmart today, of course here in Belleville.


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Life lessons learned by me

Over the last few weeks alot of strange, out of the norm things have happened.
I went with my gut on something, even though I wasn't sure.
I fought with my mom for the first time ever.
I went out with an old friend I haven't seen in forever!
2 deaths in the last few days of people I knew or were close to someone I knew.


What I have learned over the last few weeks:
Always go with your gut.
Tell your mother you love her, even if its after you have to have a hard talk with her.
Always stay close with friends who are important to you.
Live each day as if it were your last.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Love your Mom

Tell your mom you love her.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Update

I called my mother tonight. I don't know what to say except I don't feel better, and I just know I have to accept it how it is.

Maybe I over appreciate the fact that I am not there and I cant do special things with my mom on a whim. Maybe she underappreciates that she can easily do things with Bryan and Mary with in a 2 minute phone call. I don't get to go over there and have dinner, or go out at a moments notice with her. I don't get to spend my birthday with her or enjoy the kids birthdays with her.

Maybe its because she didn't have this kind of relationship with her mom, and maybe I want something that a typical 32 (almost) doesn't want from their mother. I know it has to be hard to have kids that want to spend time with you and trying to find the time to things with them each that makes them feel special. I am not a mother though, so I honestly cant say how it feels from that prospective.

On one hand, I feel like my mother moved me up here and this is where I felt "home" is. It's not like I picked up and left my family and moved out of state. My mom picked up and moved, and I stayed. Now I feel like I am being punished for it, like because I stayed and tried to be the best Amy possible that I don't get the special time with my mom. I did choose to stay here, but the choice was because I had school and a job and that continues to this day, now with the added factor of a house.

I want to feel special in the eyes of my mom. I want to have special memories with her. I would rather live in a cardboard box and be able to remember my mom and I making something special together, then have what I have and not spend time with her. I would love to spend my birthday with her and have a mommie daughter day, but I don't get to do that.

I really wanted my mom to say, Oh... I get where your coming from.. But she cant, she doesn't and I have to deal with that.

I am not going to get over it, and nothing is going to change - so I guess I live with Tiffany's advice that time heals all wounds and I will get past this as time goes on.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Nice Change

This weekend was a nice change of pace for me. My old roommate Amy was in town and I was able to visit with her, which was nice.

I also got a call/text from my bestest guy friend from school and we ended up meeting and closing down two places Saturday night and then going thru old year books for a while. One of the things I love the most is a feeling of familiar that comes from someone you have known forever, even if its someone you don't talk to constantly. I am so excited that we were able to catch up and spend some time together, we had been talking about it for a while. I hope we are able to keep in touch more then we have been, but I understand life and know that sometimes that not possible. (Still a girl can hope right?). I will hold on to our hug before he left as a reminder that friends are always friends, regardless of the miles or time between them.

No call from my mother this weekend, not too much of a surprise I guess.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Going Out..

Going out with an old friend tonight, but will post more tomorrow.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Friday

No call from Mom today to discuss the situation.

I have resolved that I must allow myself to let go of a relationship I thought my mom and I should have, and just accept the one that is there. Not an easy task at hand for someone who loves her mommie.

Thanks to all who have called and talked to me about what is going on, it helps so much to hear others opinions.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

We will not have our normally scheduled program today..

Warning, I am not in a happy mode and I am just going to spill whats on my mind as it is right now.

There had been rumor from my brother a few months back that my mom was going to take my sister on a cruise later in the year. Well, that's all fine and I am glad they are going to have fun, but honestly I am pissed the hell off.

My mom moved my brother and I to Michigan when I was 8, so she could be with my stepfather (her 3rd husband). No big deal to me at the time, I was 8 I had my mom, had my brother and life was good. I wasn't close to my dad and my other siblings were so much older then me that they were already off doing their own thing.

When I was 19, I was engaged to Chris #2 and my mom decided it was time to divorce #3 and head back to Maryland. Well, at the time I was working full time for the U/M and was working on a relationship and getting married. Well - we all know how that engagement went, and as time went on I decided Michigan was kinda home to me since this was pretty much where I was raised and grew up. I kept working and I went back to school and eventually am to the place I am today with a very good job, a nice house and finishing my 4th degree.

Sounds all nice and like I am living the high life right? Nope, guess again. I always say things aren't what they seem, and even if you think something is one way it might not be the way you perceive it.

Today, I called my mom after work since I haven't talked to her for about week - which was when I was talking to her on the phone about Christopher and my recent upset over the situation and she abruptly let me go to go hang with my sister because she came over with the grand baby. When I called my mom, I got her voicemail, I left her a message like - Hey its Amy, one of your daughters - please find my phone number and call me.

More of the story.. My sister and mother have now worked together for geez like 6 or 7 years, at two different companies and my sister lived with my mom until about 1.5 years ago. They live less then 10 minutes from each other now.

So, my mom calls me back and I say oh where were you. Shes like oh Mary and I went to dinner, la la.. I am like ohh must be nice. I then had to let her go because I was at Walmart and the receipt didn't print and la la la la.

I call her back and as I am driving thru Taco bell, shes like Oh so I am taking vacation with Mary to Porto Rico December 8th. I Immediately cry and am upset and mad and confused. I had already talked to her about how it made me feel when she singles out one of us and not to mention that Bryan felt the same way.

Apparently none of this matters, and so my I am so upset my mom hangs up. Fine. I come home, I am pissed - I spill freaking dry cat food all over the floor, I scream about 4 times and still don't feel better. (Don't you hate it when your pissed and you do something and you piss yourself off more hehe)

So I wait a bit, and I call my mom and I say this: Tell me what you want to say. She says she was going to come up here in November when my brothers ex girlfriend from high school is having a baby shower but something about work or something. Then she tells me that coming up here is not a vacation to her.

I tell her I want to tell her how I feel. I tell her that I feel like I don't matter to her and like Mary is most important. That I call and try to talk her and she lets me go abruptly for my sister because shes on the phone or she came over and she never bothers to call me back. I tell her just last week I called her to talk to her about Christopher and she stopped me to let me go to talk to my sister, and she didn't bother to call me back to ask me to finish. I also mention that she hasn't called me and I am always the one to call her and then I tell her that I feel like an ant to her, like I don't matter at all. I mention she hasn't even called to ask me how my classes were or oh since my class just ended to ask me how I did. I tell her that her taking my sister on a vacation isn't a big deal, whats a big deal is singling her out when she spends tons of time with her already and when I never get to spend time with her at all. I told her it wouldn't be a big deal if she was like oh Mary lets do this and oh Amy lets do this and oh Bryan lets do this. But that's not the case.

I tell her that me spending my two weeks in MD to be with my family is NOT a VACATION to me either, but that's how I choose to spend my time since I never get to be with my family.

She tells me she has to go because now she has to cry, she hangs up. I call her a little bit later and I get voicemail.

So now I sit, I am upset and I fell soo alone in the world. What the hell am I doing here, if it makes me so upset to be with out my family then why am I in Michigan. I guess I don't have much of a choice now because I have a house here that I could never sell and job here that I like and made really good money at.

I don't think its fair to treat your children differently. I feel like each child is unique and special in their own way, but that each deserves to spend with with you and do things with you to make memories. I am so mad that she tells me that coming to MI isn't a vacation to her, what the hell man taking two weeks of my time to come down at Christmas isn't a freaking vacation for me but I want to spend time with you.

And here I sit, I tried called and im'n about 5 different people to talk and nothing. I am truly alone here, what the hell is this what life is suppose to be like or have I done something so terribly wrong that I am not getting Karma back?

I value my mother with all my heart and soul and to feel like this is killing me.I have told her before about how it hurts me when I call and she lets me go for my sister and doesn't call back. I also told her that I don't like that she never calls. I cant change people and if they don't want to be a part of my life, that's their choice - but this is my mom. The women who taught me everything I know, the women who gave life to me and who walked me though it.

Argh, okay I am just gonna go sit and be for a while I guess.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Wordless Wednesdays


LMAO, you know this is for you Tiff - Riiiiight? ;)

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Dear Organizational Management Paper

Dear Organizational Management Paper,

You are now officially submitted and out of my hands. I think I should earn a good hard B on you, I could have done better, but I just didn't care so I did enough to show I knew what I was talking about.

Thank you for the time you stole from me, that I will never get back and for my ass that hurtz from sitting writing you.

:)

Monday, October 20, 2008

FYI

I am an accountant, I do the numbers thing. Clear black and white, no in between.

I am not an English major, I hate writing papers! Subject to someones own opinion.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Crunchy Leaves

Went to the park today with Erica and my favorite little man. He had fun walking through the crunchy leaves on our way to the park in my neighborhood. Its amazing how fast hes growing up, seeing his personality coming through and watching him make his way through the world. I cant even what it must be like to be a mother and watch through mothering eyes as your child takes to the world in their own way.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Clinique

Do you know how much I LOVE Clinique Bonus Time? Its practically up there with my birthday. Today Kristi and I went to the mall, hit the Clinique counter and Bath & Body Works (fell in love with their black chamomile sleep line). We had a nice lunch together and I spent the rest of the day snuggling with my kitties watching movies (Me Myself and Irene, and Garfield).

I am so happy gas prices are down, and the weather is cool. I am counting the days till Chicago in November and Maryland in December.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Movies

Ok, so I am now addicted to watching all kinds of movies I would have never thought to watch before (I blame you Christopher ;). Tonight I am watching Joy Ride. Um, why the hell am I watching this, alone, in the cold dark house? OMG. I am going to have nightmares, I am can tell.

Here are a few of the movies on my list of Must See:
Hostel
Video Drome
Crash

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Things That Make Me Smile Thursdays

  • Cards from far away friends, that reference peni (whats the plural of penis)
  • Postcards from far away friends with a picture of a cow and an arrow pointing to the utter of the cow and my friend writing "ewwwww" next to the arrow ;)
  • Lunch made by culinary students
  • Neighbors who cut my lawn for me
  • Neighbors who bring my trash bin up to the house for me after the trash man comes
  • (btw I heart my neighbors)
  • RedWings weekend game

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

headache

home.. bed... headache... maybe migrane

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Life and it's Uncertainties

Tell me honestly, am I out of mind here - or do you think the same way?

I feel like sometimes I make choices in life and then I constantly doubt and wonder if I did the right thing, I never feel the full satisfaction of my choice until further down the road. My friend Erica can vouch that I have been taking on more change in my life lately and I am trying to listen to my gut, but sometimes I feel like - did I really make the right choice? How do you ever know if the choice you made was the right one? Do you always wonder what-if no matter what choices you make?

Yours truly,
Crazy Amy

Monday, October 13, 2008

Is it bad...

To eat 2 cookies for dinner? Whomever thought of these pre-made - just bake um - cookies.. seriously.. why.. why did you do that to us who like warm cookies..

Sunday, October 12, 2008

It is, or it isnt...

One of the things I have learned from being in "comfy only" relationship for 9 years is that either you have a connection with someone or you don't. Granted, I guess sometimes things grow, but they usually grow from something. I never want to catch myself in a relationship again in which its just comfortable or easy or convenient.

Maybe I am a dream weaver, but I would like to think that connections between people happen and grow, and don't require force. To me, the actions of someone directly shows their feelings and intentions more so then the words they speak. At this stage in my life I look for someone who will show me they are interested and like spending time with me.

I could go on forever, but I doubt I am even making much sense.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Flash of Genius

I went to see this movie today with a friend, I must say since I am a fan of true stories, this movie rocked. (Ok ok, fine yes.. it does have the Gilmore Girls mom - Lauren Grahm in it and I do love her so that did help)

I am very interested in learning more about the actual story, I even wonder if this movie will hurt Ford's already sensitive ego.

Go see it!

Friday, October 10, 2008

TGIF

Did you notice that gas dropped today? It took me $20.00 less then "usual" to fill up tonight!

This week was long, but today was very productive - I wish I could have more days like today.

Tomorrow is breakfast and movie with a friend, could that be a better start to the weekend?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Things That Make Me Smile Thursdays

  • Red leaves on fall trees
  • Making faces in the mirror with Ty after he brushed his teeth
  • People who fill their yards with blow up (and light up) items at holiday times
  • Making plans for dinner and a movie
  • Finding the perfect gift for someone for Christmas (and doing so this early)
  • Driving home with the windows down and the air in my hair
  • Wedding pictures
  • Snuggly kitties

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Good Night

Tonight I got to spend time with my favorite 2 1/2 (+) year old little man. It has been great watching him grow up and learn and take the world in. He is very interactive now, very curious about why things are the way they are and he strives to make sure he understands you.

When I got home, my buddy Eby had missed me and was worried why I was getting home so late. My neighbor had to let Eby out and into my yard so I could love her and let her know she did good watching out for me.

;) a very good night.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

90210

Ok, so I am not 15 anymore, but I love the new 90210! Granted at first I wasn't too excited about it - but a friend told me to give it another try and now I am hooked! I still love the old skool 90210 - but the new one is pretty kewl too.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Stufz

I am kinda not in my usual happy Amy mood tonight. I am sorta feeling down and just like I need to cry for a while. I guess I can make an excuse that I don't do the whole PMS thing so I am allowed to have times like this every once in a while, right?


So as to not be a Debby Downer, here is a cute picture of Kenya helping me at the puter.




Sunday, October 5, 2008

Destiny, Fate, and Choice

If you have read my b-log, you know I am not much for religion or the belief that "God" controls our lives or the outcomes of our lives. I choose to believe that the choices we make in life is what leads us to the path we are on. Granted, I realize that sometimes you are tossed a hand and you have to choose the best of two possible outcomes, yet still its a choice.

I also feel that the way we choose to react to our choices or hands we are dealt is a great indication of the type of person we are.

If your life sucks, its most likely because of the choices you made. If you aren't happy, then make choices to make your life happy - change the path you are on.

This life we have is precious, and we should savor each moment of it, the good and the bad. Be thankful for the bad times, as they help you appreciate the good times. Make choices in your life that will help you rest your head on your pillow at night peacefully.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Lazy Fall Saturday

I did my normal Saturday morning Little House on the Prairie routine this morning from 6am - 9am, then went back to sleep until 11am. Got up, took a shower, and too myself to the salon and got a pedicure ahhhhh soo nice. Took myself to lunch and came home and watched Gross Anatomy on TV and then took a nice fall nap.

Lazy Fall Saturday! ;)

Friday, October 3, 2008

100 Things About Amy

100 Things about Amy
1. I was born in Washington D.C.
2. I moved to Michigan when I was 8, been here ever since.
3. I have one of every kind of sibling, except an “actual” sister (both mother and father were previously married and both had a boy and girl prior to getting together (as well as then having my brother and myself))
4. I am the youngest.
5. I am the only one in my family to have not been married, divorced, and had at least one child by age 30.
6. I cannot let go of my long hair.
7. Is my favorite number.
8. I love all kinds of animals.
9. I have 3 cats.
10. I am allergic to Cats (and dogs)
11. I take medication for that!
12. Cheetos are my downfall.
13. I love California Rolls
14. I broke my wrist when I around 9, in a skating accident. The bones moved in the cast but they didn’t want to re-set it since I was still growing so now I have an off-set right wrist.
15. I believe that every Neil Diamond song can be made into a greeting card.
16. My favorite color is Purple.
17. I have a weird thing for Frogs.
18. My vision isn’t perfect, I wear contacts.
19. I hate for people to see me in my glasses
20. I sleep with a pillow my mother made for me when I was 3.
21. I was a brownie, girl scout and Cadet
22. It took me 4 times to pass the written drivers test at the Secretary of State when I was 15.
23. I am an INFJ personality type. (11, 25, 50, 67 respectively)
24. I have an Associates degree in Accounting
25. I have a Bachelors degree in Accounting
26. I have a Bachelors degree in Finance
27. I am working on my Masters in Accounting
28. I want to be a C.P.A. when I grow up.
29. I despise peas.
30. I have an obsession for anything Clinique
31. I think my birthday should be a national holiday. (Or at least I should feel special on that day)
32. All of my family lives about 800 miles away.
33. Phil Collins is my favorite artist.
34. I like things to be neat and uncluttered.
35. I love all the Discovery Channels on TV. (especially Discovery Health)
36. I don’t believe in Divorce.
37. I typically wear Eternity; backups are Happy or Happy Heart.
38. My favorite movie of all time is “The Never Ending Story”
39. I am a sentimental person, I keep things like old notes and cards and I attach memories to them.
40. I have 24 teeth.
41. All of which are almost perfectly straight (thanks to braces when I was younger and Invisaligns when I was older)
42. You probably won’t catch me without polish on my toenails.
43. I love my family.
44. My tongue is pierced (although I don’t wear the barbell very often anymore)
45. I do not have any tattoos and I am probably too conservative to ever actually get one.
46. I would like to spend my free time traveling to different cities (NY, Chicago, etc)
47. I played the piano until I was 8, and then picked up the flute in Jr. High School.
48. When I was younger, I took tap and ballet.
49. My mom took me on a cruise for high school graduation.
50. I want to go on a cruise again.
51. My favorite font is Comic Sans
52. I would love to be able to communicate with animals.
53. I have had a Kidney Stone (ouch)
54. I have a fear of death from a semi-truck accident.
55. I am a Chevy girl.
56. I don’t like to pay for water to water my grass. (Unless the neighbors keep watering theirs, then I have no choice!)
57. I have never had a typing class.
58. I don’t use the correct “form” when typing, although I do still type uber fast.
59. I wish my mom had named me Alverine (my sister got it as a middle name!)
60. I don’t know where I would be if it weren’t for the love of my friends (and family).
61. Prior to the age of 18 I went to church ALL THE TIME.
62. My class ring has a bible on it.
63. I was held back in 1st grade.
64. I started school early so I ended with people the same age.
65. I don’t believe the same about religion and God as I did when I was younger.
66. Maybe there is someone out there who created us, or maybe it’s just easy to believe that when things are hard to handle?
67. I like coffee with just some flavored liquid creamer.
68. I believe that love is possible, and that being emotional with the people you love is important.
69. I prefer to be the 6.
70. I went by AmyAnn in high school, since there were so many Amy’s.
71. I was baptized AmyAnn since my godmothers name was Ann and she couldn’t have any children.
72. I have a letter jacket from high school, for academic honors.
73. I love Starbucks, but I don’t drink their coffee.
74. If alone, I cannot sleep without the TV on.
75. I sleep best when the room is cool, and the bed is warm and snuggly.
76. My blood pressure is typically 110/70.
77. I have 10 ear piercings, although I typically only wear 4 studs.
78. I wasn’t allowed to wear contacts until I was 16. Mom said if you can’t keep your room clean, you can’t keep them clean.
79. I don’t have periods, pms or any of that fun stuffs.
80. I LOVE the Depo shot!
81. 3 musketeers is my candy of choice.
82. Whatchamacallit and Chunky hold a close second.
83. I don’t eat junk a lot.
84. I was never spanked or grounded while growing up.
85. I love the music from the 80’s.
86. I had NO credit cards (by choice) from age 21-28.
87. I think its Ketchup
88. My initials are AET – like the old Auto Emissions Test
89. When I die I want to have someone write one of those really nice obituaries about my life and the impact I had on others, rather than Born… Died.. Services at..
90. Jersey type sheets are what I prefer. I like soft and comfortable, I don’t like high tread count sheets that feel like satin.
91. I often open either word or email to spell check a work. Spelling accurately is beneath me.
92. I love road trips.
93. I always wear my seatbelt.
94. When I was born the doctors thought for a few minutes after that there was another Amy in there, really my mom just hadn’t lost a lot of the water prior to my delivery.
95. I think it would be awesome to be a twin.
96. In 2005 I cut my hair to my shoulders and donated it to Locks of Love.
97. That was both a traumatic and rewarding experience for me.
98. I test new Chinese restaurants by how their crab rangoon tastes.
99. I only use Tide to wash my clothes; I am a snob about that.
100. I once completed a list of 100 things about myself!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Things That Make Me Smile Thursdays

Welcome to the first edition of "Things That Make Me Smile Thursdays". On Thursdays I will post things that come to my mind that have made me smile. It might be things over the last week, or might just be things in general.

Things That Make Me Smile:

  • Cool nights
  • Starbucks new salty Carmel hot chocolate
  • Kenya when she curls up on my head and purrrrs
  • Bassa when he paw at me to pet him more when I stop
  • Baby Kittie each morning when she sits on the edge of the tub and hollers for me to pick her up
  • Talking to my mom while she is shelling Lima beans and I tell her how gross that is
  • Thinking about Jesse going to homecoming with a girl
  • Planning my time off to Maryland at the end of the year
  • B-log'n for a purpose!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

31 for 21

Get It Down; 31 for 21

My friend Jessica from Chicaaaaga tells me I should blog more.

My friend Karly has shown me an excellent cause which will help me blog more.

October is Down Syndrome Awareness month and this year I am participating in the 31 for 21 blog challenge. You can read more about it here. While I am by no means an expert on Down Syndrome and the effects it has on an individual as well as a family, I am grateful for the knowledge I have gained through Karly and her daughter. Karly has been excellent in helping myself and others learn about Down Syndrome and debunking a lot of the myths associated with the diagnosis.

Insert shameless plug here:
You should really visit Karly's blog at Our Normal Life she is an amazing women, raising two beautiful kids and supporting her beloved husband. Karly and I met a few years ago when we worked together for the same company, we first bonded over a fellow employee who sometimes frustrated us. I am grateful for knowing her and being able to watch her make her way through life. She has an awesome spirit and will tell you things just as they are, I appreciate that about her! Thanks Karly for being a part of my life! I value all that you have taught me, all the advise you have given me, and most of all for helping me see that its more important to appreciate things and be thankful versus focusing on whats not right in life.