We are family

My brother made a Turducken for x-mas dinner. It was yummmmy! It was nice to have everyone together. I almost felt bad about wrapping my brothers gifts with full on packing tape (and stuffing a fake little spider in it). Ok, I didnt feel bad ;)

Tonight my mom, sister and a I went out for my birthday dinner to Sukura - its the most yummiest Japaneese place. This picture was a re-do of a picture we did like 6 years ago, when my mom, grandmother, sister and I went out for my birthday.

Hecka Funny

I was searching for "Gifts for mom" and found this:

http://www.giantmicrobes.com/

just in case you have someone who is hard to buy for, actually I think Chrisany would LOVE one of these ;)

My GrandNephew

Umm, does it get any better then this?  I have been watching my grandnephew Jordan today.  He is a ball of love, joy, happiness, giggles, and screams.

MD

ok, I am in Maryland now. I already miss my house, my kitties and my bed! Hung out with my sister, neice and my great nephew today (hes super cuteness!) Werre going to order chineese food for dinner, then I think I am going to chill with my O magazine.

;)

I had an AWESOME night with a good friend. I am glad we were able to spend time together, and I always enjoy cracking up!

Tomorrow is my work christmas dinner (preceeded by a cocktail hour). Saturday I leave for MD for 16 days, seems long - but I guess it will go fast.

Warm Fuzzies and Update on Bassa

Bassa is scheduled for the radio iodine treatment on 1/19/09. I drop him off in the morning on that Monday and pick him up Friday in the afternoon. I cant wait to heal this for him, I feel like he knows whats going on. It's okay Bassa, its all going to be better soon.

Can I just say I am soooo happy to be back in touch with my old buddy from school! Its funny how an old friend can bring ya the warm fuzzies just with a hello or a visit, or when you see the caller id with their name. I hope we NEVER loose touch again! I enjoy reconnecting and building our friendship.

Bassa...

Well, the results are in, and my mommie intuition was right. Bassa has Hyperthyroidism. I talked with the vet at length (after my hours of net searching) and I am going to go with the radioactive iodine/pill as his treatment. Sounds scary - but its the highest success rate, least complications. The only down side is Bassa will have little contact in the first few days, until is radioactive levels decrease.

I feel like I have to do this for Bassa, I made a promise by adopting him that I would love and care for him, and this option will cure his issue, versus "treatment" which will just prolong a painful death for him. It might be a different story if he was extremely old, or had other issues. However my vet confirmed that hes otherwise healthy and she expects he has a while to live. Bassa deserves to live a happy healthy life, and as his mommie I am going to do anything possible to give that to him.

I did switch him to organic pet food, he seems to LOVE it, which makes me happy. The vet says not to beat myself up over it, that it could be food related or just a randomness - we will never know. On either hand I am not going to take anymore chances - any pets of mine from this day forward will eat natural/organic and good for them foods (with occasional treats). Why take the chance?!

So I am still crying about it! I talked to Bassa about it tonight (hehe), he is cool with it ;) He has to go in tomorrow for a chest x-ray to ensure there are no tumors in his chest. Not a big deal if there is, just means we have to go for a more high-tech location for the treatment - but in either case is fully curative.

I am hoping I can work something out to have him be in treatment while I am away in MD, then we can both come home fresh and new and ready to move on.

Friday Bassa Update

Hyperthyroidism in Cats:

This is an awesome site that just backed up the information my told me (except this site make me really feel like this is what he has going on).
http://www.peteducation.com/article.cfm?c=1+2130&aid=218

No call today, so I guess it will be Monday

Its a major thing in kitties, most die in 2 years without treatment due to related heart issues.

2 curative options are available, and I am sorta leaning towards the radioactive pill/iodine but will make a choice once I know for sure this is whats up and I have more information.

Whats making me feel like CRAP is that alot of the recent cases are related to the consumption of pet food thats less to say.. uhh not organic. I am soooo researching cat food to change my kitties to something more healthy (I dont know why I didnt follow your lead on this Karly)!

Bassa Update

The thought (and blood work show) is that he may have Hyperthyroidism. We are doing a T4 test which will tell for sure - I should know by Monday.

In the meantime I am giving him lots of loves.

Sick kittie, sad mommie

Well, I decided to call the vet on the way home tonight to talk about Bassa and his "issues". After they talked to the tech and vet they decided I should bring him in.

For right now all I know for sure is my kittie has something wrong, it could be as simple as needing to have a BM (lol BM makes me laugh and Poop doesn't, odd huh?), or could be something wrong internally.

I will know for sure (or atleast more) tomorrow.

Keep Bassa in your thoughts, I cried all the way home - I love my kittes and I don't want them to be in pain. I swear I am not sure I could be a humans mommie.. I suck at this stuff.

Fat Horny Cat

I came home tonight and Baby Kittie kinda didn't sound right, her little HI Mommy and Meows were kinda like she was horse or something.

I sat in the living room, playing on Facebook and all the sudden I see my fat cat Bassa draggin BK down the hall by her neck and then he mounts her. Uh Hello.. Everyone with 4 paws is fixed in this house, what the crap!

I feel soooo bad for BK. She is giving me that look like - mommie.. Bassa mean to me! The good part is Kenya won't tolerate Bassa messing with her, but BK is kinda laid back like yeah whatever.

OMG, The drama of the cat lady!

I said a boom chicka boom.

I had the best 4 days off in a row. Yup, I spent most of it alone, but there were spurts of time with friends and neighbors and even a nice night with an old buddy. Work tomorrow, which I am ready for and I need to P one more time (hopefully) and this little clear cup with the orange lid (seriously can anyone out there make this better for us chicks - uhh).

Thanksgiving

I am so thankful and appreciative for all the things I have in my life.

I love my family, and even though they are 800 miles away they are always close to my heart.

I don't know what I would do without my neighbors, who have adopted me as their own.

The friends I have made as I walk the path of life.

Friends who are there for me at any second that I need them.

A job I love and enjoy going to.

Even though I stayed at home this holiday, and spent my day in my robe and jammies, I still felt a lot of love, from my early am run to Meijer with Erica, my mom calling me to talk, my sister texting me and sending me pictures, Tiffany texting me, friends inviting me over for dinner, my neighbor knowing I stayed home and bringing me a plate from their dinner. I may spend a lot of my time alone, but my heart is full of love and I am thankful for that.

Blah

Ok so I feel a little better, but by that I mean I am manging the pain a little better. I will spare you the details, but do you know why White Castle hamburgers are called Sliders? Well lets just say since 7pm on 11/20, everything I put in the top, comes out the bottom and very quickly. I have officially lost 11 pounds since this all began, not that I am complaining - but uhh is this really pain and antibiotic medication that you gave me or are you playing a trick and its really a laxative?

Not to mention I just don't feel like this is OUT, I feel like its temporarily resting but its not gone. Wed is the last day of the antibiotic, and you would think I would be feeling 100% now (or close to it.)

This sucks because I had really wanted to go to Chicago over the long weekend and see the town and visit a friend.. but seriously at this point I am lucky I don't have to eat in the bathroom.

Hmm guess I didn't spare details did I? ;)

Kittie Love

What is better then a purrrring kittie warming your lap??

Two purrrring kitties warming your lap!

;) I love that my kitties know I am not 100% and that they want to comfort mommie... Good Job Kenya, Bassa and BK!

Hiccups

Seriously, how long can you have hiccups for? I have been going for 42 minutes now.. luckily I am kinda drugged from the pain from the "P" stuff, so I think its kinda funny more then I think its annoying. I also think its funny that Kenya is sitting in my lap and I shake her every time I hiccup.

Guess its the little things in life.. (or maybe the drugs)

Monday, Monday...

I sucked it up and went to work today, I am glad I did. Sometimes just doing the normal makes you feel better and it did wonders for my spirit!

I went to the Dr and she did a follow up urine screen and it appears that my icks are going away, I have another repeat in 10 days to see if its totally out. If not then I will go back to the urologist I saw after my kidney stone a while back. Her concern is something might be going on inside that were missing. We shall see.

Want to know what smell I HATE? I Can Not Stand The Smell Of BLEACH. Ehhh makes me wanna yack. Apparently I had new cleaners today and I don't what they did but the whole house smelled of bleach, I had to go around and wipe everything down and then spray stuff all over. I emailed the owners, uhh please don't use bleach. I had even gotten a notice from them about 2 months ago that they were going green with their cleaning products, I was excited - and now I know for sure - uhh that ain't true cuz green doesn't smell like bleach!

My kitties missed me today, I think they loved having me in bed for 3 days, especially since it has been cooler and I have the bed warmer on.

Short update

I am not up for posting much, but wanted to give a little update.

Since Thursday evening I have been feeling ICK.. Yesterday I called off work for the first time, and went to the Dr who told me to go to the ER. Thank Goodness for Erica (I am so lucky to have such a close friend for such a long time)!! She took me to the ER and spent the 5 or so hours with me while the Dr's determined I have Pyelonephritis (kidney infection) as well as low potassium and "ugly" urine (lol).

So I am on the mend now, but pretty drugged cuz this is kinda painful. I am hoping to feel better Monday to go to work, but I have to go to the Dr again to see how the infection is.

Of course I could write TONS more, but I doubt it would make much sense in my vicoden induced state of mind.

Seasons

It's funny how I have so many memories attached to changing of the seasons. Yesterday, I walked into Meijer from the 39 degree outside and I thought hmmm cream of wheat sounds Yummy for breakfast tomorrow. My mom use to make it for us all the time when we were younger as a nice hot breakfast. (ok who am I kidding, not just when I was younger - I pretty much have it each winter I am down there now too).

Then I realized when I got home and I glanced over at my yarn basket - that I made a ton of scarfs last year, but stopped when the weather got warmer. I think I am going to bust out the yarn and get busy again.

Here is a picture of Erica and I last year, like her scarf? Yeah I made it ;)

Amy's morning goes Green

Ok so, if you know me - you know I have a Starbucks addiction. For the last few months I have fallen in love with a Double Venti (thats two shots in a large drink of my choice).

I started thinking, hmmm this has got to not be pretty on my bank account. So I decided two weeks ago to buy a stainless travel cup thing at Meijer and that I would make my coffee in the morning at home before I left. Well, two weeks passed and while I did manage to wash the cup out, I never did make coffee in the morning.

Then I discovered, that the Starbucks I go to in the morning offers 15% off your drink when you use your own cup. Sweet! So I splurged and bought a nice Starbucks cup and today I used it! Thinking it would still be Venti - since the size is the same as a Venti paper cup - actually its Grande.

Ohh what a good day! I went Green, saved some green, and got more caffeine then I bargained for.

:)

Fall Behind..

This is what me and kitties think a good "Fall Behind" day is like:

Kenya:

Baby Kittie:

Bassa:

Halloween

Last year at this time I was in Vegas, so I missed the neighborhood fun we have. This year, there was three households on the neighbors porch. The kids love it when they walk up and basically get the benefits of walking to three houses, all by just walking to one porch. I love it because I get to talk with the neighbors.

I am not much for giving kids candy, but I do like traditions and so I participate. It is so much fun to see the kids dressed up and all excited.

Things that CRACK ME UP Thursdays

This says it all.. Saw this coming out of Walmart today, of course here in Belleville.

Life lessons learned by me

Over the last few weeks alot of strange, out of the norm things have happened.
I went with my gut on something, even though I wasn't sure.
I fought with my mom for the first time ever.
I went out with an old friend I haven't seen in forever!
2 deaths in the last few days of people I knew or were close to someone I knew.


What I have learned over the last few weeks:
Always go with your gut.
Tell your mother you love her, even if its after you have to have a hard talk with her.
Always stay close with friends who are important to you.
Live each day as if it were your last.

Love your Mom

Tell your mom you love her.

Update

I called my mother tonight. I don't know what to say except I don't feel better, and I just know I have to accept it how it is.

Maybe I over appreciate the fact that I am not there and I cant do special things with my mom on a whim. Maybe she underappreciates that she can easily do things with Bryan and Mary with in a 2 minute phone call. I don't get to go over there and have dinner, or go out at a moments notice with her. I don't get to spend my birthday with her or enjoy the kids birthdays with her.

Maybe its because she didn't have this kind of relationship with her mom, and maybe I want something that a typical 32 (almost) doesn't want from their mother. I know it has to be hard to have kids that want to spend time with you and trying to find the time to things with them each that makes them feel special. I am not a mother though, so I honestly cant say how it feels from that prospective.

On one hand, I feel like my mother moved me up here and this is where I felt "home" is. It's not like I picked up and left my family and moved out of state. My mom picked up and moved, and I stayed. Now I feel like I am being punished for it, like because I stayed and tried to be the best Amy possible that I don't get the special time with my mom. I did choose to stay here, but the choice was because I had school and a job and that continues to this day, now with the added factor of a house.

I want to feel special in the eyes of my mom. I want to have special memories with her. I would rather live in a cardboard box and be able to remember my mom and I making something special together, then have what I have and not spend time with her. I would love to spend my birthday with her and have a mommie daughter day, but I don't get to do that.

I really wanted my mom to say, Oh... I get where your coming from.. But she cant, she doesn't and I have to deal with that.

I am not going to get over it, and nothing is going to change - so I guess I live with Tiffany's advice that time heals all wounds and I will get past this as time goes on.

Nice Change

This weekend was a nice change of pace for me. My old roommate Amy was in town and I was able to visit with her, which was nice.

I also got a call/text from my bestest guy friend from school and we ended up meeting and closing down two places Saturday night and then going thru old year books for a while. One of the things I love the most is a feeling of familiar that comes from someone you have known forever, even if its someone you don't talk to constantly. I am so excited that we were able to catch up and spend some time together, we had been talking about it for a while. I hope we are able to keep in touch more then we have been, but I understand life and know that sometimes that not possible. (Still a girl can hope right?). I will hold on to our hug before he left as a reminder that friends are always friends, regardless of the miles or time between them.

No call from my mother this weekend, not too much of a surprise I guess.

Going Out..

Going out with an old friend tonight, but will post more tomorrow.

Friday

No call from Mom today to discuss the situation.

I have resolved that I must allow myself to let go of a relationship I thought my mom and I should have, and just accept the one that is there. Not an easy task at hand for someone who loves her mommie.

Thanks to all who have called and talked to me about what is going on, it helps so much to hear others opinions.

We will not have our normally scheduled program today..

Warning, I am not in a happy mode and I am just going to spill whats on my mind as it is right now.

There had been rumor from my brother a few months back that my mom was going to take my sister on a cruise later in the year. Well, that's all fine and I am glad they are going to have fun, but honestly I am pissed the hell off.

My mom moved my brother and I to Michigan when I was 8, so she could be with my stepfather (her 3rd husband). No big deal to me at the time, I was 8 I had my mom, had my brother and life was good. I wasn't close to my dad and my other siblings were so much older then me that they were already off doing their own thing.

When I was 19, I was engaged to Chris #2 and my mom decided it was time to divorce #3 and head back to Maryland. Well, at the time I was working full time for the U/M and was working on a relationship and getting married. Well - we all know how that engagement went, and as time went on I decided Michigan was kinda home to me since this was pretty much where I was raised and grew up. I kept working and I went back to school and eventually am to the place I am today with a very good job, a nice house and finishing my 4th degree.

Sounds all nice and like I am living the high life right? Nope, guess again. I always say things aren't what they seem, and even if you think something is one way it might not be the way you perceive it.

Today, I called my mom after work since I haven't talked to her for about week - which was when I was talking to her on the phone about Christopher and my recent upset over the situation and she abruptly let me go to go hang with my sister because she came over with the grand baby. When I called my mom, I got her voicemail, I left her a message like - Hey its Amy, one of your daughters - please find my phone number and call me.

More of the story.. My sister and mother have now worked together for geez like 6 or 7 years, at two different companies and my sister lived with my mom until about 1.5 years ago. They live less then 10 minutes from each other now.

So, my mom calls me back and I say oh where were you. Shes like oh Mary and I went to dinner, la la.. I am like ohh must be nice. I then had to let her go because I was at Walmart and the receipt didn't print and la la la la.

I call her back and as I am driving thru Taco bell, shes like Oh so I am taking vacation with Mary to Porto Rico December 8th. I Immediately cry and am upset and mad and confused. I had already talked to her about how it made me feel when she singles out one of us and not to mention that Bryan felt the same way.

Apparently none of this matters, and so my I am so upset my mom hangs up. Fine. I come home, I am pissed - I spill freaking dry cat food all over the floor, I scream about 4 times and still don't feel better. (Don't you hate it when your pissed and you do something and you piss yourself off more hehe)

So I wait a bit, and I call my mom and I say this: Tell me what you want to say. She says she was going to come up here in November when my brothers ex girlfriend from high school is having a baby shower but something about work or something. Then she tells me that coming up here is not a vacation to her.

I tell her I want to tell her how I feel. I tell her that I feel like I don't matter to her and like Mary is most important. That I call and try to talk her and she lets me go abruptly for my sister because shes on the phone or she came over and she never bothers to call me back. I tell her just last week I called her to talk to her about Christopher and she stopped me to let me go to talk to my sister, and she didn't bother to call me back to ask me to finish. I also mention that she hasn't called me and I am always the one to call her and then I tell her that I feel like an ant to her, like I don't matter at all. I mention she hasn't even called to ask me how my classes were or oh since my class just ended to ask me how I did. I tell her that her taking my sister on a vacation isn't a big deal, whats a big deal is singling her out when she spends tons of time with her already and when I never get to spend time with her at all. I told her it wouldn't be a big deal if she was like oh Mary lets do this and oh Amy lets do this and oh Bryan lets do this. But that's not the case.

I tell her that me spending my two weeks in MD to be with my family is NOT a VACATION to me either, but that's how I choose to spend my time since I never get to be with my family.

She tells me she has to go because now she has to cry, she hangs up. I call her a little bit later and I get voicemail.

So now I sit, I am upset and I fell soo alone in the world. What the hell am I doing here, if it makes me so upset to be with out my family then why am I in Michigan. I guess I don't have much of a choice now because I have a house here that I could never sell and job here that I like and made really good money at.

I don't think its fair to treat your children differently. I feel like each child is unique and special in their own way, but that each deserves to spend with with you and do things with you to make memories. I am so mad that she tells me that coming to MI isn't a vacation to her, what the hell man taking two weeks of my time to come down at Christmas isn't a freaking vacation for me but I want to spend time with you.

And here I sit, I tried called and im'n about 5 different people to talk and nothing. I am truly alone here, what the hell is this what life is suppose to be like or have I done something so terribly wrong that I am not getting Karma back?

I value my mother with all my heart and soul and to feel like this is killing me.I have told her before about how it hurts me when I call and she lets me go for my sister and doesn't call back. I also told her that I don't like that she never calls. I cant change people and if they don't want to be a part of my life, that's their choice - but this is my mom. The women who taught me everything I know, the women who gave life to me and who walked me though it.

Argh, okay I am just gonna go sit and be for a while I guess.

Wordless Wednesdays

LMAO, you know this is for you Tiff - Riiiiight? ;)

Dear Organizational Management Paper

Dear Organizational Management Paper,

You are now officially submitted and out of my hands. I think I should earn a good hard B on you, I could have done better, but I just didn't care so I did enough to show I knew what I was talking about.

Thank you for the time you stole from me, that I will never get back and for my ass that hurtz from sitting writing you.

:)

FYI

I am an accountant, I do the numbers thing. Clear black and white, no in between.

I am not an English major, I hate writing papers! Subject to someones own opinion.

Crunchy Leaves

Went to the park today with Erica and my favorite little man. He had fun walking through the crunchy leaves on our way to the park in my neighborhood. Its amazing how fast hes growing up, seeing his personality coming through and watching him make his way through the world. I cant even what it must be like to be a mother and watch through mothering eyes as your child takes to the world in their own way.

Clinique

Do you know how much I LOVE Clinique Bonus Time? Its practically up there with my birthday. Today Kristi and I went to the mall, hit the Clinique counter and Bath & Body Works (fell in love with their black chamomile sleep line). We had a nice lunch together and I spent the rest of the day snuggling with my kitties watching movies (Me Myself and Irene, and Garfield).

I am so happy gas prices are down, and the weather is cool. I am counting the days till Chicago in November and Maryland in December.

Movies

Ok, so I am now addicted to watching all kinds of movies I would have never thought to watch before (I blame you Christopher ;). Tonight I am watching Joy Ride. Um, why the hell am I watching this, alone, in the cold dark house? OMG. I am going to have nightmares, I am can tell.

Here are a few of the movies on my list of Must See:
Hostel
Video Drome
Crash

Things That Make Me Smile Thursdays

• Cards from far away friends, that reference peni (whats the plural of penis)
• Postcards from far away friends with a picture of a cow and an arrow pointing to the utter of the cow and my friend writing "ewwwww" next to the arrow ;)
• Lunch made by culinary students
• Neighbors who cut my lawn for me
• Neighbors who bring my trash bin up to the house for me after the trash man comes
• (btw I heart my neighbors)
• RedWings weekend game

headache

home.. bed... headache... maybe migrane

Life and it's Uncertainties

Tell me honestly, am I out of mind here - or do you think the same way?

I feel like sometimes I make choices in life and then I constantly doubt and wonder if I did the right thing, I never feel the full satisfaction of my choice until further down the road. My friend Erica can vouch that I have been taking on more change in my life lately and I am trying to listen to my gut, but sometimes I feel like - did I really make the right choice? How do you ever know if the choice you made was the right one? Do you always wonder what-if no matter what choices you make?

Yours truly,
Crazy Amy

Is it bad...

To eat 2 cookies for dinner? Whomever thought of these pre-made - just bake um - cookies.. seriously.. why.. why did you do that to us who like warm cookies..

It is, or it isnt...

One of the things I have learned from being in "comfy only" relationship for 9 years is that either you have a connection with someone or you don't. Granted, I guess sometimes things grow, but they usually grow from something. I never want to catch myself in a relationship again in which its just comfortable or easy or convenient.

Maybe I am a dream weaver, but I would like to think that connections between people happen and grow, and don't require force. To me, the actions of someone directly shows their feelings and intentions more so then the words they speak. At this stage in my life I look for someone who will show me they are interested and like spending time with me.

I could go on forever, but I doubt I am even making much sense.

Flash of Genius

I went to see this movie today with a friend, I must say since I am a fan of true stories, this movie rocked. (Ok ok, fine yes.. it does have the Gilmore Girls mom - Lauren Grahm in it and I do love her so that did help)

I am very interested in learning more about the actual story, I even wonder if this movie will hurt Ford's already sensitive ego.

Go see it!

TGIF

Did you notice that gas dropped today? It took me $20.00 less then "usual" to fill up tonight!

This week was long, but today was very productive - I wish I could have more days like today.

Tomorrow is breakfast and movie with a friend, could that be a better start to the weekend?

Things That Make Me Smile Thursdays

• Red leaves on fall trees
• Making faces in the mirror with Ty after he brushed his teeth
• People who fill their yards with blow up (and light up) items at holiday times
• Making plans for dinner and a movie
• Finding the perfect gift for someone for Christmas (and doing so this early)
• Driving home with the windows down and the air in my hair
• Wedding pictures
• Snuggly kitties

Good Night

Tonight I got to spend time with my favorite 2 1/2 (+) year old little man. It has been great watching him grow up and learn and take the world in. He is very interactive now, very curious about why things are the way they are and he strives to make sure he understands you.

When I got home, my buddy Eby had missed me and was worried why I was getting home so late. My neighbor had to let Eby out and into my yard so I could love her and let her know she did good watching out for me.

;) a very good night.

90210

Ok, so I am not 15 anymore, but I love the new 90210! Granted at first I wasn't too excited about it - but a friend told me to give it another try and now I am hooked! I still love the old skool 90210 - but the new one is pretty kewl too.

Stufz

I am kinda not in my usual happy Amy mood tonight. I am sorta feeling down and just like I need to cry for a while. I guess I can make an excuse that I don't do the whole PMS thing so I am allowed to have times like this every once in a while, right?

So as to not be a Debby Downer, here is a cute picture of Kenya helping me at the puter.

Destiny, Fate, and Choice

If you have read my b-log, you know I am not much for religion or the belief that "God" controls our lives or the outcomes of our lives. I choose to believe that the choices we make in life is what leads us to the path we are on. Granted, I realize that sometimes you are tossed a hand and you have to choose the best of two possible outcomes, yet still its a choice.

I also feel that the way we choose to react to our choices or hands we are dealt is a great indication of the type of person we are.

If your life sucks, its most likely because of the choices you made. If you aren't happy, then make choices to make your life happy - change the path you are on.

This life we have is precious, and we should savor each moment of it, the good and the bad. Be thankful for the bad times, as they help you appreciate the good times. Make choices in your life that will help you rest your head on your pillow at night peacefully.

Lazy Fall Saturday

I did my normal Saturday morning Little House on the Prairie routine this morning from 6am - 9am, then went back to sleep until 11am. Got up, took a shower, and too myself to the salon and got a pedicure ahhhhh soo nice. Took myself to lunch and came home and watched Gross Anatomy on TV and then took a nice fall nap.

Lazy Fall Saturday! ;)

100 Things About Amy

100 Things about Amy
1. I was born in Washington D.C.
2. I moved to Michigan when I was 8, been here ever since.
3. I have one of every kind of sibling, except an “actual” sister (both mother and father were previously married and both had a boy and girl prior to getting together (as well as then having my brother and myself))
4. I am the youngest.
5. I am the only one in my family to have not been married, divorced, and had at least one child by age 30.
6. I cannot let go of my long hair.
7. Is my favorite number.
8. I love all kinds of animals.
9. I have 3 cats.
10. I am allergic to Cats (and dogs)
11. I take medication for that!
12. Cheetos are my downfall.
13. I love California Rolls
14. I broke my wrist when I around 9, in a skating accident. The bones moved in the cast but they didn’t want to re-set it since I was still growing so now I have an off-set right wrist.
15. I believe that every Neil Diamond song can be made into a greeting card.
16. My favorite color is Purple.
17. I have a weird thing for Frogs.
18. My vision isn’t perfect, I wear contacts.
19. I hate for people to see me in my glasses
20. I sleep with a pillow my mother made for me when I was 3.
21. I was a brownie, girl scout and Cadet
22. It took me 4 times to pass the written drivers test at the Secretary of State when I was 15.
23. I am an INFJ personality type. (11, 25, 50, 67 respectively)
24. I have an Associates degree in Accounting
25. I have a Bachelors degree in Accounting
26. I have a Bachelors degree in Finance
27. I am working on my Masters in Accounting
28. I want to be a C.P.A. when I grow up.
29. I despise peas.
30. I have an obsession for anything Clinique
31. I think my birthday should be a national holiday. (Or at least I should feel special on that day)
32. All of my family lives about 800 miles away.
33. Phil Collins is my favorite artist.
34. I like things to be neat and uncluttered.
35. I love all the Discovery Channels on TV. (especially Discovery Health)
36. I don’t believe in Divorce.
37. I typically wear Eternity; backups are Happy or Happy Heart.
38. My favorite movie of all time is “The Never Ending Story”
39. I am a sentimental person, I keep things like old notes and cards and I attach memories to them.
40. I have 24 teeth.
41. All of which are almost perfectly straight (thanks to braces when I was younger and Invisaligns when I was older)
42. You probably won’t catch me without polish on my toenails.
43. I love my family.
44. My tongue is pierced (although I don’t wear the barbell very often anymore)
45. I do not have any tattoos and I am probably too conservative to ever actually get one.
46. I would like to spend my free time traveling to different cities (NY, Chicago, etc)
47. I played the piano until I was 8, and then picked up the flute in Jr. High School.
48. When I was younger, I took tap and ballet.
49. My mom took me on a cruise for high school graduation.
50. I want to go on a cruise again.
51. My favorite font is Comic Sans
52. I would love to be able to communicate with animals.
53. I have had a Kidney Stone (ouch)
54. I have a fear of death from a semi-truck accident.
55. I am a Chevy girl.
56. I don’t like to pay for water to water my grass. (Unless the neighbors keep watering theirs, then I have no choice!)
57. I have never had a typing class.
58. I don’t use the correct “form” when typing, although I do still type uber fast.
59. I wish my mom had named me Alverine (my sister got it as a middle name!)
60. I don’t know where I would be if it weren’t for the love of my friends (and family).
61. Prior to the age of 18 I went to church ALL THE TIME.
62. My class ring has a bible on it.
63. I was held back in 1st grade.
64. I started school early so I ended with people the same age.
65. I don’t believe the same about religion and God as I did when I was younger.
66. Maybe there is someone out there who created us, or maybe it’s just easy to believe that when things are hard to handle?
67. I like coffee with just some flavored liquid creamer.
68. I believe that love is possible, and that being emotional with the people you love is important.
69. I prefer to be the 6.
70. I went by AmyAnn in high school, since there were so many Amy’s.
71. I was baptized AmyAnn since my godmothers name was Ann and she couldn’t have any children.
72. I have a letter jacket from high school, for academic honors.
73. I love Starbucks, but I don’t drink their coffee.
74. If alone, I cannot sleep without the TV on.
75. I sleep best when the room is cool, and the bed is warm and snuggly.
76. My blood pressure is typically 110/70.
77. I have 10 ear piercings, although I typically only wear 4 studs.
78. I wasn’t allowed to wear contacts until I was 16. Mom said if you can’t keep your room clean, you can’t keep them clean.
79. I don’t have periods, pms or any of that fun stuffs.
80. I LOVE the Depo shot!
81. 3 musketeers is my candy of choice.
82. Whatchamacallit and Chunky hold a close second.
83. I don’t eat junk a lot.
84. I was never spanked or grounded while growing up.
85. I love the music from the 80’s.
86. I had NO credit cards (by choice) from age 21-28.
87. I think its Ketchup
88. My initials are AET – like the old Auto Emissions Test
89. When I die I want to have someone write one of those really nice obituaries about my life and the impact I had on others, rather than Born… Died.. Services at..
90. Jersey type sheets are what I prefer. I like soft and comfortable, I don’t like high tread count sheets that feel like satin.
91. I often open either word or email to spell check a work. Spelling accurately is beneath me.
92. I love road trips.
93. I always wear my seatbelt.
94. When I was born the doctors thought for a few minutes after that there was another Amy in there, really my mom just hadn’t lost a lot of the water prior to my delivery.
95. I think it would be awesome to be a twin.
96. In 2005 I cut my hair to my shoulders and donated it to Locks of Love.
97. That was both a traumatic and rewarding experience for me.
98. I test new Chinese restaurants by how their crab rangoon tastes.
99. I only use Tide to wash my clothes; I am a snob about that.
100. I once completed a list of 100 things about myself!

Things That Make Me Smile Thursdays

Welcome to the first edition of "Things That Make Me Smile Thursdays". On Thursdays I will post things that come to my mind that have made me smile. It might be things over the last week, or might just be things in general.

Things That Make Me Smile:

• Cool nights
• Starbucks new salty Carmel hot chocolate
• Kenya when she curls up on my head and purrrrs
• Bassa when he paw at me to pet him more when I stop
• Baby Kittie each morning when she sits on the edge of the tub and hollers for me to pick her up
• Talking to my mom while she is shelling Lima beans and I tell her how gross that is
• Thinking about Jesse going to homecoming with a girl
• Planning my time off to Maryland at the end of the year
• B-log'n for a purpose!

31 for 21

My friend Jessica from Chicaaaaga tells me I should blog more.

My friend Karly has shown me an excellent cause which will help me blog more.

October is Down Syndrome Awareness month and this year I am participating in the 31 for 21 blog challenge. You can read more about it here. While I am by no means an expert on Down Syndrome and the effects it has on an individual as well as a family, I am grateful for the knowledge I have gained through Karly and her daughter. Karly has been excellent in helping myself and others learn about Down Syndrome and debunking a lot of the myths associated with the diagnosis.

Insert shameless plug here:
You should really visit Karly's blog at Our Normal Life she is an amazing women, raising two beautiful kids and supporting her beloved husband. Karly and I met a few years ago when we worked together for the same company, we first bonded over a fellow employee who sometimes frustrated us. I am grateful for knowing her and being able to watch her make her way through life. She has an awesome spirit and will tell you things just as they are, I appreciate that about her! Thanks Karly for being a part of my life! I value all that you have taught me, all the advise you have given me, and most of all for helping me see that its more important to appreciate things and be thankful versus focusing on whats not right in life.

Who is reading my mind????

A few weeks ago I thought to myself, hmm I should get a weekend subscription to the Wall Street Journal or New York Times. It's one of things I think I could do to improve myself, stay on top of current events - especially financial things which I am all about.

Last night in my mail box was a Wall Street Journal, clearly made out to me. Tonight, same thing.. So I am guessing now I have a subscription?

So who is reading my mind?

I didn't subscribe, I only thought about it.

Whoever did this, Thank You!

I <3 Fall

I absolutely LOVE fall! It is my favorite season! I love the change from warm to cold, the change in colors on the trees, the smell in the air!

I decided this year that it will be my mission to visit as many cider mills as I can. This Sunday was my first trip! I went to Parmenter's in Northville, my neighbors had taken me there last year since its their favorite. Its a nice place! Lots of areas where people sell their crafts, a kick butt kielbasa stand, and lots of picnic tables that you can sit at and watch the leaves fall while you eat your doughnut and drink your cider.

Of course, I brought some cider and doughnuts back for my neighbors. Hopefully we will all make the trip together soon.

2, 4, 9 Please

Yesterday, in pictures.

No Kenya, sorry they arent for you!

Catch Up..In pictures

A few weekend ago, Jesse and I went to Cedar Point (before he headed back home). We had a BLAST!

I learned how to Blingee! This was Erica, Kristi and I at our last girls night at Erica's house.

I have a monirail cat (taken by Jesse):

And most recently, I got these (lucky you if you know from who):

The end ;)

TomAss

It all started back in 1997, the "Damn Temps" was formed and little did I know it, but I also formed an awesome friendship with TomAss (a fellow member of the Damn Temps). Some of us were lucky to be hired as real employees including myself and Tom (who apparently doesn't like change since he still works for the U/M).

Tom is someone who gets me, hes like a brother to me. We use to see each other alot more then we do now, but even if its been months since we had a TandA its like we still have this connection, some kind of real understanding of each other no matter what. Over the geez, 11 years we have been though alot with each other, from dating best friends (meow) to talking each other off the ledge when life gets hard.

So, my Buddy Tom, this Amy b-log edition is dedicated to you, even though life has tossed you a lot lately (including an addition of a lovely girl to his family with J and C) you are always in my thoughts and I cant wait till we TandA again.

Jesse is back this week, tonight we are going to color his hair blue (just so my brother will get mad at me) and then later on this week we are going to hit Cedar Point, although since I hit 30 all the rides just don't seem appealing to me, so we will be borrowing a friend to take with us!

I am planning on taking a little over two weeks off at Christmas to go to Maryland and stay with the family like I did last year. The hard part is always coming back home to an empty house. Of course, who knows - maybe this year I wont, MAYBE by then all my millions of dollars I have donated to E. Clark Warren will have paid off and I will have found my love of a lifetime and someone will be waiting for me to come back to Michigan.

Work is going great, the Controller and I work so well together we make a great team and it makes me happy to be a part of so many things. I start back to school on 9/8, only a year left to finish my Master (which I would have uh been done with by now had I not taken the last year off). I am excited that it seems like the things I have worked for are proving to work out.

And just in case you wanted to know, I had my yearly va-jay-jay (okay yeah I just wanted to say va-jay-jay since Oprah says it and I think its cool) appointment yesterday and all is good down below. ;)

That's about all for the Amy updates for now! ;)

Oh and for little boy of K&B's, come on now - I know your momma has made it way to comfy and cozy for you in there - but she wants to see your face and get to know you - time to come out!

Hi

Hi B-Log!

I know I haven't left you any messages in a while, but do you have a minute to talk?

Things are going good! I got the good news at work that I had been waiting for, and soon I will be getting back to finishing my MBA. The family is well, Jesse is up in MI right now visiting his mom, we spent time together before he went up there and we will have a week together in August before he goes home. I love spending time with him! I cant believe he is 13 now, soon he will be finishing high school and going off to get a degree and be the person he wants to be. I am proud to be his Aunt!

Yeah, yeah, I am still on eHarm! Seriously, I am going to make a new commercial - I am not an eHarmony reject, I am a forever eHarmoy member. I know its because at this point I know a lot of what I will and wont accept in someone, at least I am honest I guess. I still hold out hope that my one and only is out there and looking for me right now too.

I bought the WII Fit, I LOVE it! I have been using it for a week now, and already improved! I cant wait to see how this all works out! At the least its really fun to step with the Me's and to run with them! Oh and Kenya LOVES the hand pointer, shes always getting her cat fit on while I am on the WII.

Well, life isnt always roses and sunshine. The only ick news I have right now is that despite my one attempt with a contractor to fix the water issue in the basement, it seems I have a bigger more major issue. Its going to be far from cheap to fix, but I am hoping as I have more people come look that someone can help me figure out a more equitable plan of attack.

I hope things are going well for you!

I Love my Mom!

Tonight my mom was online and we were chatting and I wanted to always remember what she said so I decided to let you know about it b-log.

mom: you can do it - i have faith in you...just remember you are worth it!!!
me: hehe technically I am worth more hehe
mom: lots more

Then mom let me go so she could play her online bingo (shes a cool great grandma).

*this was an actual conversation, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

I love my mom for all she has taught me in life, and for always just being there. I hope that if I am ever to be a mother that I make my kids feel the love and understanding that she has made me feel.

The Word of Amy...

*Advanced warning; the opinions contained in this blog post are those of AMY and are not intended to be pushed (you are choosing to read this) and are not expressed to be the views of anyone else.

The last two days at lunch the subject of religion has come up, I am happy to work and share lunch with people who respect the views of other people and who are happy to share their views in an open mature forum. Since this is been a recent topic I decided I would post my feelings on the subject in my pretty blog. I am not sure how many people know this about me, many probably have a sense, but here it is laid out for all to read.

I am Agnostic (check this out if its new to you, lots of good information here http://arts.cuhk.edu.hk/humftp/E-text/Russell/agnostic.htm). When I was growing up I did the church thing, and actually tasted many different religions along the way to find one that fit me. I picked Pentecostal as the one that fit me best, and for most of my teen years I was a devote Sunday church go-er. I even have a bible on one side of my high school class ring.

Along the way, I decided to form my own opinions about the subject and decide what seems responsible to me and what I wanted to believe and how I wanted to live, rather then have a book which was supposedly written as the word of "God" tell me all of these things.

Interesting that one of the questions raised during the lunch talks was; If you don't believe in God then who do you answer to? The link above states this well, I answer to me. I am responsible for my actions and I don't require someone or thing to hold in my head as my moral compass. I may hit bumps along the road of life, but how I handle them is my responsibility and my choices effect directly the life I live. If it happens that I do have kids in this life I will allow my children to explore the different avenues of religion if they choose, however I will not force it upon them and I will not judge them if they choose to have a different belief system then I do.

One of the topics today at lunch was about a recent news article about a gay couple who sought out a photographer for their wedding, however the photographer said it would be against their beliefs to take pictures of a gay wedding. This to me proves more of ignorance then tolerance and religion conviction. If someone claims to be religious then who are they to judge a gay couple? Isn't that "Gods" job? Everyone should be treated equal regardless of who they sleep with or what they look like or what language they speak. I get very irritated when people who claim to follow the Bible in one sentence then in the other are judging people or acting in non moral ways.

I firmly believe that life is about choices, and the roads you take are the ones that lead you to where you are now. Granted, there are a things along the way which are unexpected and not a choice, however how you handle these things is again a choice you make.

We all have the responsibility to live to the fullest and to be able to lay our head down and night and rest peacefully knowing that we did our best today to live in a way we think is moral and respectful. If you require a God to do this, then I am happy for you that you have found something that brings comfort to you. I respect the choices of others and I am happy to discuss the many different opinions we have regarding the subject.

Stepping off now....

Mary, the rose

This says it all (and maybe too much).

My Pretty

I spent all weekend in the front yard, with the help of my neighbors of course!

Check out what we did.

Before: (ok the trees were blooming here so ignore that)

Check out the pear trees, nothing around them... now there is!!

Close up of my pretty!

Oh Yes I Did....

Okay, if you know me - this wont be a surprise to you - but maybe will be like an "oh geez Amy".
So I am at Meijer tonight, strolling around - just walking and looking and what do I see??

Thats right, ICE CREAM for CATS!! Oh heck yes I have to get this! I think of Baby Kittie immediately - she loves sweets and I think she will love this. And yup - I was right.

Oh yeah and I am the KEWL cat lady!

6 Unimportant Things..

Karly at Our Normal Life tagged me for a meme like a month ago. Sorry Karly that it's taken me so long - but you wouldn't believe the random places I cam up with some things about me while I was thinking about this.

Rules:
Link back to the person that tagged you
Post these rule on your blog
Share six unimportant things about yourself
Tag six people at the end of your entry

1. I have this weird issue with stepping onto escalators and moving walkways. I cant get my eyes and feet to coordinate correctly so I always look like I am going to loose my balance (although luckily I haven't yet).
2. I can not pee anywhere but a toilet. Someone mentioned on one of these once that they pee in the shower - and even with all my might I cant do it - my body refuses.
3. My "Mary" rose is growing like crazy this year - last night I counted 22 buds on her! I love seeing things I plant grow and live and hibernate and then come back.
4. I could live off of Ice cream and Lifetime movies.
5. I was just looking at a picture of my brother Byran and I, and its funny - but looking at the picture makes me feel loved. I know that no matter what he is always going to be there for me to watch over "my baby sister".
6. Cheetos and I need to end our relationship!

Tags: I don't have many bloggin friends, so anyone who is feeling so inclined.

We are Family...

I love spending time with my family. Its REALLY great when all of my siblings are together. I was recently able to spend 5 days with my sib's and niece and nephews. Granted some times I wished I was home, but Monday night when mom took 16 of us out for crabs and we were all getting ready to say goodbye and I got to hug everyone - it was the best!

I wouldn't trade peeving off my siblings for anything - especially when I get to be the center of our family hug!

Here is a lame picture - Sun was in our eyes - but still funny and goofy. There are better pictures - this is just what I have right now.

Bryan, Me, Mom, Mary, Kenny

New Residence.. Part 2

I didn't post this update originally, but the Momma apparently didn't have a BF on the first go around. I saw the nest empty for two days and went and looked and found unfertilized eggs. I removed the eggs so the nest would be clean and every day I looked to see if the mourning dove had come back.

This morning, I woke up and checked and YES she is back - sitting on her nest and this time she was doing a pretty dance and calling for her hubs. I was so excited!

Then about 2 hours later I looked and was even more excited to see that her hubs was there! YES! I think this time we are going to have two little mourning dove babies in the tree!

Here is a picture. I cant tell who is momma and who is dadda - but one is sitting on the branch of the tree and the other is in the little nook on the nest (you kinda see the tail). I love this picture since the cherry blossom tree is blooming right now too.

Tangible End..

Well, today was the official tangible end of the "Forever" relationship. Stuff was exchanged via my garage while I was at work. I know, its been almost a year now and it was time.

The intent was for him to get his things since I had some valuable items of his. The result was that he left a box of my stuff in the garage for me, even though I had expressed immediately after the break-up and also a few more times, that I didn't want the things back.

I didn't want my items back due to what the box of items represented. (If you know me or the situation you most likely know what I mean) I had hoped to not have the last imagine in my mind be the box and the stuff inside.

Everyone has different views, but mine is that I am sad that he and I don't have any type of email or whatever friendship that allows us to stay in some sort of contact. It's hard to spend 10 years with someone and then act as if they have died. I know I am more of a sentimental person then most, so I accept that most people are okay with it and that my views are somewhat out there.

Anyhow, to anyone reading - I hope you express to your loved ones how much you love them on a regular basis, and I hope that you never sacrifice anything about yourself to make someone else happy.

New Residence

I woke up this morning and was making jokes to myself as I saw it was snowing. April snow showers bring May flowers. I was looking out the front window and admiring the snow, when I noticed a new resident in the birds nest from last year. I didn't take it down like I read you should do, I didn't see the point. So now a morning dove has made it her own. I am not sure if she has babies under there - but she has an intent look on her like she does.

I wonder if I should put a bird feeder out front to help them, or if it will cause more of a distraction.

To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn...

Hello B-Log (did you know the cool kids call it Be-Log). I am sorry for neglecting you lately!

Last night as I was on the way home from work, I talked to a good friend who I hadn't caught up with in a few weeks. It was nice to chat. I am looking forward to our girly night were planning with movies and Smirnoff's!

I stopped at Meijer to get Miss Kenya some cat food, was feeling like a good mom so I also got a small plastic bag of cat-nip for the kitties too.

Was feeling like Amy needed something special so I bought myself some awesome shower wash with little scrubby beads that smells good and leaves me sooooo soft! Nice!

As I was leaving Meijer I caught of wif of the air and realized I could smell rain coming and it bought a smile to my face. I love when I can smell rain, the air is so neat then. I rode the short dive home with the windows down enjoying the change of seasons.

Came home, took a shower and started dinner - only to find that Mr. Bassa decided he smelled something good in my bags and got out the little catnip bag and was trying his best to rip it open. When I caught him he had only slobbered it to death! So then they all had their little highs going - Kenya was paranoid for a good hour afterwards.

My mom accepted a new position last night! I am so proud of her, shes worked really hard to be where she is right now and I am admire her for it. Its hard to make a change and I know what shes going though right now. I love you Mom, for everything you are and for all that you have taught me!

Change is among us! Seasons, lives and expectations.

Things...

Wow, its been a while! I wish could some how blog through my thoughts. I must have thought of about 12 different blog entries in the last few weeks but by the time I am home I just done feel like "verbally vomiting". Heck a few nights the last week I just went straight to my room and did a few things on the laptop before I just crashed.

Updates:

• I ended Jenny and I am doing good on my own - I think it was just the jump I needed and now I have my own motivation. Still loosing slow but sure, and that's cool with me.
• I am still going into work at 4:30am, I don't mind so much - its not as if I have a family or warm snugly person in the bed next to me that I am leaving.
• New water heater is in and its so nice. I have turned Friday nights into bath/whine/wine night. I am trying to see if I'm a wine person so I am trying a few here and there - so far nothing has totally rocked my boat.
• Apparently I am still "clenching" my teeth. I put it in quotes because I just don't think I do - I think something else is going on - so I have my shot (YEAH) appointment Monday so I am going to talk to the Dr about it then. This of course is no thanks to Discovery Health Channel in which I watched a show where a young lady had similar symptoms and it turned out to be a sinus tumor.
• Still trying to E-Harmony thing. I have over 120 matches and about 40 that are in some sort of communication mode - sounds great huh? Nah - nothing is really promising at this point - and by promising I mean someone I want to meet and talk to more.

The last point leads me to the topic of Regrets - I try to live my life with no regrets - but it seems as thought the older I get I have a few items on my regret list. Currently up to 3 which involve; Handling situations differently, Appreciating and validating people/relationships, and being true to myself. Live and learn, so in all 3 situations I have done my best to do what I thought was the right thing now - but still will always wonder what if I guess.

On an interesting note - I realized today that on Leap Day - if it falls on a work day - then technically if your salary you worked for free!

Meme

Ok, this is all new to me since I am new blogger chick.. but lets see how I do..

The Rules:

Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

Share five random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog. Share the five top places on your “want to see or want to see again” list.

Tag a minimum of five random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.

Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment in their blog.

Person who tagged me: Karly

Five Random/Weird Facts About Me:

1. I cant stand Peas. They are simply just gross.
2. I dry myself before I get out of the shower.
3. I have a thing for anything Purple, Frog, or Clinique. (OMG I would just die if Clinique came out with a purple frog!
4. Sushi ROCKS
5. My bra and panties are always both white on work days.

Places I Want to See/Want to See Again:
China
England
Paris
Maryland (hehe)

Tagging:
Ummmm, I dont have any blog friends yet, so I will steal Karly's line..
Anyone else out there in blog land who might be up for the challenge!

Maybe...

Maybe it’s because its 2am and I am awake, or maybe its because I had a rough day today.

My day started like normal, but I had left work early to deal with what I thought was a small issue with the water heater, a little leak some where. Turns out yeah, its a leak - but the water heater is 17 years old. That’s okay, I have the home warranty so they cover the new water heater, however they do not cover the code updates which are required. Not a big deal - I guess its just one of those things you deal with now and then as a home owner.

I cant keep on top of my class right now, usually things just come to me pretty easy and the work is easy for me. I have had so much going on at work (new job with greater responsibilities = 1/31 getting a lot of tax things done.. had me stressing.. but that’s a longer story) and trying to eat right and things, I just feel like I cant get a hold of it.

Yeah, on to the eating. I was doing very well, until I reached "very stressed" and just dropped it. I had intended on picking it up Monday, but when I had to leave work early I just tossed it to the side again. I wish that it was a no brainer for me, something I didn’t have to think about all the time, something that was just a part of me.

Its just one of those times when ya feel like theres alot going on at once and how can you focuss your attention to one. To top that off, I actually have this kitty on my mind that needs a home, I keep trying to kick her out of my mind so far it hasn’t worked. I am hoping she finds a loving home soon, but will keep her in my mind.

Maybe this just a part of growing and life. Some days are harder, some days are easy. Some days are full of love and friends and some are lonely. What I have learned, no matter what it always turns out okay and I am always fine! =)

Comfy Blanket

When what I refer to as my "forever" relationship and I ended things we had alot of conversations about comfy blankets. Comparing our relationship to a comfy blank of a child, they carry it around everywhere they go, always holding it close and turning to it when needed. The child carries it until its worn and tattered and falling apart. The relationship I had became a worn tattered comfy blanket. Something neither of us wanted to really let go of, but at the same time something we both knew we couldnt carry with us any more.

Loosing your comfy blanket isnt fun, even if you know you should give it up. Tonight on the way home I kept thinking about all the changes in my life right now and how bad I wish I just had the comfy blanket for a second. I always felt like everything would be okay or atleast that I would be okay when I had the blanket.

I have grown alot in the last year, its hard at times - but I am realizing that I am my own comfy blanket now. It is nice to have someone who you can turn to when things are hard, but at the same time if you cant rely on yourself - who can you rely on?

I miss my comfy blanket. Not the relationship as BF/GF but the fact that I had to let go of someone who I cared about alot and who knew me better then anyone. I miss being able to just email and say HEY this is whats going on, or hey - hows your life going. I dont know if that will go away. I guess they say time heals all wounds, but I think my heart will always have a special place.

Hello & Welcome

I have been wanting to start this blog for probably about 3 months now. I have written my first entry about 30 times in my head, but until now haven't put it to keys. Tonight, as I sit watching the Miss America pageant I was wondering why haven't I started my blog yet. I am guessing its a few things, fear of putting myself out there, and knowing exactly what does go on in my head!

Ok so here it goes, I am getting over my fears and I am jumping head first into my blog. Please note - this is just a randomness of my thoughts - please feel free to comment if you wish.

A friend and I went to dinner the other night at Red Lobster. I hadn't been for a while and we had traveled out of our normal town and it was the only restaurant around. Everyone knows that they have lobsters there, sitting in the tank waiting their fate as people come in and sit and wait for a table. My friend said to me: "I cant eat a lobster now, I don't want to see my food alive before I eat it". I haven't had that thought as far as shellfish was concerned. I don't know if ts because I was born in Maryland and seafood is a part of all diets or if I just don't care. Then my friend said: "I wouldn't want to go into a Kentucky Fried Chicken and see a bunch of chickens in a cage." Okay, I see the point now, I guess seeing your dinner before you eat it isn't very appetizing.

Along the lines of food, I have been doing the Jenny Craig thing. I am on my 4th week right now. I really like the convenience of having my food ready and there and not having to buy alot of things from the grocery store that I know I am going to waste. So far I am down 7.3 pounds and feeling pretty excited that this is going to help me on my way of changing my eating habits. I am learning things about myself and my relationship with food along the way also. 2 weeks ago I really wanted some Papa Romanos pizza, and I had decided that I was going to have some. (keep in mind that while I am doing Jenny Craig - if there is something that I know I want, then I have the right to make that choice). So I called the pizza place and proceeded with my typical order - small pizza small bread stick (this use to be about a 2-3 times a week order) when the order taker told me they no longer have small and that I could get a medium I freaked out. OMG I don't want a Medium, I want a small and then I thought to myself - okay I don't need the pizza so just hang up but I couldn't, I was in a panic I didn't know what I would feel if I didn't order it and just hung up. The order taker tells me - oh we have a bambino pizza now though - its smaller then a small its like a personal. So then, as if I am not crazy enough by now, I think to myself - umm seriously that wont be enough. I proceed with the bambino order, and to my surprise it was more then enough. Okay, so what did I learn? I learn that I have a craving for certain foods when I am feeling certain emotions. Stressed = Pizza and if I cant have those foods then the emotions intensifies. Crazy I know.

Weight isnt something I really "struggle" with, as I have also been on the heavier side of things since I was little. For the most part I am okay with it, except when I look at myself and think - seriously.. I know I am pretty, I know I am smart and funny, but I also know (sorry Carson) I do not like how I look naked. Then I think, maybe this is just all normal - who does like how they look naked? I guess my goal with the Jenny thing will be to get into the habit of eating fruits, salads and veggies as well as making healthier choices. This morning as I was about to eat some of my Jenny cereal I saw that I had Sugar Free Mrs Buttersworth next to some pancake mix. I read the box - 160 calories for 4 - 4inch pancakes. Wow that's cool. So I got Fabio (I cant be live its not butter) out of the fridge and made myself breakfast. for a whooping 185 calories when I added the syrup. I was proud of myself then.

Someone has a post on the board I am for Jenny and it says "Nothing tastes as good as loosing weight feels". I am trying to ask myself that when I make the choice to eat something - Is this going to meet my nutritional needs? Do I want it? Is it going to taste better then loosing 1 pound?

Ok, well I guess that's it for my first post. I warned you it would be random and crazy.
Till next time...